Report: A distraught Tom Cruise has moved into a small apartment in Adele’s uterus

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) June 29, 2012

Oh, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced? I bet Oprah’s couch is thrilled.

— Condescending Wonka (@OhWonka) June 29, 2012

I have no doubt that Tom Cruise will land on his tiny, tiny feet.

— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) June 29, 2012

Somewhere, Tom Cruise is sitting on a couch, quiet and still.

— Peter Sagal (@petersagal) June 29, 2012

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. I always knew she was meant to be with Dawson.

— Betty F*ckin’ White (@BettyFckinWhite) June 29, 2012

Tom Cruise’s prenup lets him keep his money, the kids and Katie Holmes.

— Anthony Jeselnik (@anthonyjeselnik) June 29, 2012

Rumor has it, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise just never saw eye to eye. Unless he was standing on a chair.

— Nick Youssef (@NickYoussef) June 29, 2012

Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. Oopsies, sounds like somebody forgot to lock the cage when he left.

— TwiceBakedPotato (@Half_Mex75) June 29, 2012

I’ve just heard on the radio that Tom Cruise…Is Holmesless.

— Football Jokes (@FootyGags) June 29, 2012

Tom Cruise is getting a divorce. Now we just need to find out that Travolta has been secretly dating him and my Friday will be complete.

— Jonathan Millhouse (@JMillhouse) June 29, 2012

I will devote my entire life to Scientology if it turns out Katie Holmes is leaving Tom Cruise because he knocked up Adele.

— Nick Youssef (@NickYoussef) June 29, 2012

Adele is pregnant, Tom Cruise and Katie are divorcing and Lauryn Hill is going to jail. Don’t famous people know what Friday means?

— Pelayo Diaz (@princepelayo) June 29, 2012

Latest Posts: