FULL ARTICLE ON GAWKER.COM

David Beckham is the worlds hottest white man. The hottest white man to ever exist. My GOD.

— JESS DE LA TORRE(@CallMeGORJESS) July 28, 2012

I like to think Beckham will spend the rest of his life driving that boat around the world, solving crimes.

— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) July 27, 2012

If Austin Powers doesn’t show up soon I swear to god I will flip out.#Olympics #openingceremony

— Biz Baron (@chrisfarren) July 28, 2012

I do hope the queen wasn’t subjected to the usual bond girl routine at the hands of James. Not sure the bones could take it. #Olympics2012

— Dominic Monaghan (@DomsWildThings) July 28, 2012

I had the weirdest dream last night about Ken Branagh building chimneys, J.K. Rowling in Hobbiton and the Queen parachuting with James Bond.

— Barnaby Edwards (@BarnabyEdwards) July 28, 2012

The queen was good but as Bond girls go, still prefer Halle Berry

— paddypower (@paddypower) July 28, 2012

The Queen was texting…. #olympicceremony twitter.com/TheCowlicker/s…

— The Cowlicker (@TheCowlicker) July 28, 2012

Plot twist: Queen locks everyone in the stadium and shouts Happy Hunger Games.

— Ge0rge † (@GLNorth) July 28, 2012

The 86 year old queen of my country jumped out of a helicopter and there was a 40ft Voldemort. I dare Brazil to beat that in 2016.

— TEAM GB!! (@HugMeLouisT) July 28, 2012

Queen Elizabeth at the Olympic #OpeningCeremony: “Look at all those countries I used to own” #2012LondonOlympics twitter.com/politicalhumor…

— Political Humor (@politicalhumor) July 28, 2012

How the World sees Britain: The Queen, James Bond, Sebastian Coe, Steve Redgrave, Bradley Wiggins, David Beckham…and Mr Bean…

— London Theatre (@LondonTheatre1) July 28, 2012

One conclusion from tonight – Beckham really should be the next Bond

— Simon Evans (@sgevans) July 28, 2012

David Beckham always looks like he’s advertising cologne.

— Stephanie Perkins (@naturallysteph) July 28, 2012

So basically Mr. Bean dropped acid?

— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) July 28, 2012

How many millions of dollars was spent on this for Mr. Bean to be the highlight?

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) July 28, 2012

Mr. Bean has a real name? Who knew

— White Eskimo (@1DWorldwideArmy) July 28, 2012

Is it a coincidence that Rowan Atkinson appeared right after the Dark Lord? I’m on to you, Mr. Bean… twitpic.com/6gzuhy

— Professor Snape (@_Snape_) July 27, 2012

LeBron James is the most humble guy he knows. Just ask him.

— Aimee B (@Aimee_B_Loved) June 22, 2012

So happy this ordeal is over for Lebron James. Could you imagine having to wait until 27 to achieve a lifelong dream?

— Pat Tomasulo (@pattomasulo) June 22, 2012

R.I.P LeBron James No Ring Jokes 2003-2012 .. Hello Hairline Jokes 2003-FOREVER

— DEMONTAY / DTRAIN (@TAYEatsB4HeBeat) June 22, 2012

Congrats to Leboron James and the city of Cleveland

— Fake Bleacher Report (@veryfakeBR) June 22, 2012

Earlier this week, timeline was full of people complaining about the heat. Today, it’s full of people complaining about the Heat. #nba

— nascarcasm (@nascarcasm) June 22, 2012

If the $147K bill for the Heat at LIV is true, then they had about 12 vodka tonics, a couple orders of nachos and 3 beers. Kidding. Sort of.

— Tim Reynolds (@ByTimReynolds) June 22, 2012

congratulations to the miami heat players who woke up as new dads because nothing says “let’s celebrate!!” like rawdog

— The Blowout (@theblowout) June 22, 2012