I don’t know what kind of sick person would fight a pregnant woman and a grandma just to get a Black Friday TV. But I had to do it.

— Jimmy P.(@jimmyp302) November 23, 2012

Black Friday is such a dismal image for a supposedly upbeat sale.Why don’t they just call it The Half Off Plague or The Discount Massacre.

— Merrill Markoe (@Merrillmarkoe) November 23, 2012

Black Friday is the one day of the year that violence is actually caused by video games.

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) November 23, 2012

I’m white, but I’m not ‘Black Friday’ white.

— angieisintraffic (@LuvPug) November 23, 2012

I would watch a reality show that was nothing but footage from Walmart’s security cameras on Black Friday.

— iamyourguy (@iamyourguy) November 23, 2012

Ironic that something called “Black Friday” requires you to get somewhere early.

— Brad Williams (@funnybrad) November 23, 2012

Black Friday = Broke Saturday

— Rich Cole (@iamRichCole) November 23, 2012

Having a Black Friday #drugs sale outside my meth lab tonight. Buy one get one free! #notacop

— Not A Cop (@ImNoCop) November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving should be after black friday so you can be thankful for all the stuff you bought on sale.

— Savan Kotecha (@Savan_Kotecha) November 23, 2012

Black Friday is for amateurs. Real women shop all the time.

— Carrie Bradshaw (@Carrie_Br4dshaw) November 23, 2012

Twinkies are on the brink of extinction, what’s going to happen now? Will there be an army of angry fat people to fullfil the mayan apocalypse? Will the mexicans use it to smuggle cocaine into the US?

I’m not positive… but do you think that the Mayan calender actually accurately predicted the end of “The Twinkies” and not “The World”?

— The Highest Of High (@TommyBhong) November 19, 2012

At least he is not positive about it

Between Twinkies and waiting an hour for the Wii U to update, this has been a terrible, terrible week for people with no real problems.

— Brian Altano (@agentbizzle) November 19, 2012

You forgot to mention the breakup between Bieber and Selena

Buying up all of the twinkies we can find….gonna make that Ebay money! #oprahdough

— Down With Webster (@DOWNWITHWEBSTER) November 19, 2012

Entrepreneurs…..

If Twinkies are made in Mexico, how much cocaine can be replacing the cream filling ? Just a thought

— Patrick Jones (@PatrickJones56) November 19, 2012

Arriba arriba!!

So they legalize marijuana and then get rid of Twinkies? Is our government playing some kind of cruel joke on us?

— SkepticalAfrica (@SkepticaI_Kid) November 18, 2012

What if Family Guy re-runs are next to go?

So we’ll bail out banks but not Twinkies. Who’s setting the priorities of this country?

— Aaron Levie (@levie) November 18, 2012

Common sense…..

in 50 years hostess will offer 5 golden twinkies and 5 lucky children will get the chance to go to their secret factory

— Lonely Guy Problems (@lonelyguyprobs) November 18, 2012

Hostess is going out of business. I just bought 5 cases of twinkies. Im freaking out because i only have 32 years to eat them.

— David Spade (@DavidSpade) November 18, 2012

I think the main reason Hostess shut down is because Twinkies taste like mayonnaise that was born retarded.

— Cracked.com (@cracked) November 17, 2012

To celebrate the new release of twilight i’ve punched myself in the face

— DA’s Warriors (@DAsWarriors) November 16, 2012

I wanna take a girl to see twilight later an at the end i want her to lean in for a kiss but stop just as our lips touch, it will be cute

— She Crave Moore(@CraveMoore) November 16, 2012

If you think your day sucks, just be thankful you’re not one of those poor cats that have to hear all about the new Twilight movie.

— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) November 16, 2012

the best part of the last twilight movie is it’s the last twilight movie

— yuey (@assholepoop) November 18, 2012

Why cant real life be like twilight movies?:(

— Lejla(@Da_lejla) November 18, 2012